Stuck

I have even less inspiration than yesterday, my weight has not budged, it's raining.  Wow the perfect tri-fecta for depression.  I definitely will not be able to reach the goal I wanted to be at by next weekend without having lost any weight this week.  I would have to starve myself and that is NOT what this time is about.  This time is about doing it the right way and being healthy while I am at it.  I somehow get the feeling that this last fifteen will be harder than the first thirty-five were.  Yeah me.

I did buy some WW exercise DVDs when I started this process.  In fact, at the time I practically had a nervous breakdown because something happened to my laptop, aka lifeline to the outside world, and I could not play DVDs.  I had that fixed and then never started using them anyway.  I guess those in the morning and walking Chunky Pup every night is no longer optional or I will be whining about this until the cows come home...so to speak.  Thank God I don't deal with that.

I have a picture of myself (and my sisters) that had to have been taken after I turned five...because before I was five I was wearing size 3T because I was still so small.  I was born a little early and was actually pretty tiny at first, then at some point I found Jewish rye bread, toasted and that was the end of small.  And, I know shock and surprise, here I am in this photo, chunky; but all decked out in pink.  My mother made those outfits for us.  I loved pink then and it is still my favorite color.  Among her many other talents, my mother was a pretty amazing seamstress.  The capes were fully lined in matching, solid, shiny, silky stuff and dresses were sleeveless sheaths.  Mine was pink with white,  Steph's had some yellow, and Denise's some blue.  Those colors were primarily ourfavorites.  And pink still mine, Steph's until she died was blue, and Denise- well I don't much know what her favorite anything is anymore.  Like all families, we have some level of dis-function and Denise and I are it.

Anyway, back to the picture, I mention it because weight and I have literally had a life long relationship.  Up and down, up and down, up and down.  Fat pictures when I was in grammar school, better pictures when I was in middle school, fat pictures early high school, thinner pictures the year my senior portrait was taken.  I like that picture, it is currently hanging in the living room.  Fat pictures after Blake was born, thinner after Andrew, fat after Steph died, thinner for a couple of years, horrible after mom died, thinner for a couple of years, then back up again, now down again.  I prefer to keep the next couple of decades of my life on the down side; honestly I don't think I have the time to loose it again.

  

I may not have a Sunday off this week since clearly my weight has not budged doing what I always do; so my theory in life, "do what you have always done and get what you have always gotten"...if it is good stick with it, if not change it up!

Have a happy, healthy, and safe day!