BMI

So losing 38.7lbs still makes me overweight. Really? I guess that is better than the morbidly obese I started at, but really? This is the kind of crap that is discouraging, not plateauing, not back sliding a pound occasionally; but working so hard to get healthy, to hopefully get off one of six meds swallowed every morning- three of which are blood pressure, really?

The one spot of light...55% of the women out there between 40-49, my height, have a worse BMI...whoo hoo (read that in the most sarcastic voice you have available in your head).

I have to lose 16.3 more pounds, not the 11.3 I was hoping for that seemed within reach; somehow 16.3 doesn't. I don't know suddenly it feels unachievable. I think this is the first time I have felt so discouraged.

Stuck

Again...I typed suck, accidentally or subconsciously left out the "t"; of course either one would have worked.

At least this week's midweek weigh-in I know the reason. Back to wishing for menopause. My appointment with Dr. Palumbo is next week and I really, really want to hit that 40lb mark, anything beyond that is gravy as I then head toward the 50lb mark.

All I can say is stick with the plan. WWPP works...if you diligently follow it. The recipes are great and even early on when I was unsure of it all, the pre-made refrigerator meals were pretty good; although, I won't lie, 0 point loading is the best way to never be hungry...3 cups of fresh kale rubbed with fresh squeezed citrus (any) juice and sprinkled with a little sea salt is a huge amount of food...you cannot be hungry after that!

Sunday's dinner

Since I was so well-behaved Saturday at the fair, I held fast to Sunday dinner. I cooked Indian flavored with beef, it literally cooked on the back burner of my stove on low heat all afternoon. My husband cut a head of cauliflower out of the garden so I cooked that with coconut milk and red curry paste and, for the cabbage straight out of the garden I heated some cumin and mustard seeds in a sauté pan until they popped, tossed in the cabbage, gated in some fresh ginger, minced garlic, a little salt, a little pepper, and some chicken stock and let that cook down. A little bulgar wheat / orzo pilaf and some naan and dinner was served. Check out the pic.

I did not make dessert. My theory was that I did have some foods Saturday that even in little bites could not have been good.

The state fair

I had a great time. I have a very patient husband. He loves me very much.

How do I know this? He grew up on a dairy farm. Yet, yesterday at the fair he let me pet every freaking cow and baby that I wanted to. That's love there were a lot of them.

He also did not make the ugly face when I he bought me fried dough and I only ate a bite of it and threw the rest out...come on, only 1.3lbs from the next landmark goal...would you have eaten all of it? And, so today, I cooked Indian food for Sundays Off, which I really love. But that coconut milk will kill a dish every time in the world of points!

Butter sculpture, fried dough, and my husband; all at the New York State Fair.

Going to the fair

So excited, on the way to the New York State Fair. I know it seems silly, but let's face it, my early life was spent surrounded by cement and tall buildings. This is an adventure. I will take pics and share stuff through the day!

The 5 Year Plan

The first 5 year plan I did on my own was in 2005. I was deeply grieving the end of my marriage and formulating a sentence was hard enough, let alone a 5 year plan. Now, did I accomplish everything I wanted to by 2010? Some of the 2005 plan I cannot even remember, and probably forgot the day after I committed to it. Which brings me to my first few points:

1. Write it down, you don't have to show to anybody, but it will help.

2. Mix it up a little, have lofty goals and realistic goals.

3. Have one very easy and achievable goal. Once that first one is under your belt, the balance seem easier.

One of my goals was to return to school and work on a B.S. in Art with a concentration in Art History, something I always loved. I graduated in December 2008, with honors. Every semester, I sat down and re-thought the goals for the current year to stay on track for the 5 year plan.

None of this was easy, and this was only one of the goals. I update the plan every year, sometimes realizing something undone is no longer important and always adding to the 5 year outlook.

For example, I have had filing for my passport on the plan for two years; but, I did not take care of until this year-the impetus? I know a wonderful young lady who is starting grad school this week at the University of Toronto and I will be visiting her in January. Passport: checked.

DO NOT become so rigid that you don't allow for the unexpected. My husband is one of the great joys of my life and if I had blocked that door 4 years ago because he was not in the 5 year plan, I would have missed out the best relationship of my life.

Losing weight was in this year of the plan: okay, honestly, last year as well but I did not set myself up for success and this year I did. Weight Watcher's online is probably one of the wise set choices I have ever made. It's fun, it keeps me accountable, and it gives me success. Being accountable in this blog has also been a great motivator. But at the end of the day, the work and diligence falls on me . I succeed or fail based on my actions and non-actions. Letting the universe decide your fate is not responsible living.

I still have at least 12lbs more to go, and as I like to tell people "put on your big girl pants and a smile on your face and just do it". Stop making excuses for failure, and instead, commit to success.

The good news is (drum roll, please)

That I have shed the remainder of the weight I gained back. Lesson learned universe, potato chips are NEVER our friend.

So this definitely is motivation for not going crazy at the state fair this weekend. Also, I put a skirt on this morning that barely fit six years ago when I bought it at Banana Republic, a size 12; a don't inhale deeply garment. I weighed about 15lbs more than I do now and not only does it fit, there is enough room that I can invite someone else in! And it's silk, no stretch there. I put it on just to see since the size 10s I was trying on Saturday were fitting well, what a happy day today is starting off as. Let us hope it continues.

So head down, stick to the path, make the goal!

I forgot to hit publish!

Wow is it Friday?  This is an addendum to this morning's no-post because I never hit publish!  It almost seems as though it should be Monday.

I am setting myself up for disaster on Saturday.  Oh, I am still going to the Farmer's Market, but only for supplies for next week.  Why, you ask?  Because we are going to the New York State Fair.  I have never been to a state fair, only county fairs.  I love the fair.  I love the furry animals, the hand-crafted goods,  and the food.  So I will e flipping my free day this week and not take Sunday Off...unless I can really stay away from the fried dough, hot sausage rolls, and a plethora of oher baked goods.

I will still take pics, but it will be rather unhealthy...and who knows, I slipped into a size 10 pant over the weekend so that may keep me motivated to stay away from the fried dough; or at least most of it.  I will have to take a bite.

I do not know if this is Weight Watcher's approved behavior, but I think switching my days " off" and allowing myself to sample some of  the good-on-your taste buds, bad-for-the-rest of your body food stuffs makes more sense than going into it blind and unrealistic...I will keep you posted.  Tomorrow is weigh in day, let's see if my stuck trend continues.

My number

Wow was dinner yummy, but I have to say the White Chocolate Panna Cotta was the absolute best thing my taste buds have experienced in months.

Check out pics of dinner and Dessert below.

So my number, this morning and it was a light morning, was 47. Unbelievable how much stuff is used in the morning; and, this does not include the espresso machine, a crucial tool in my day, or getting dressed, or jewelry, just products and tools used to apply them...kind of scary!

What's your number?

No, not on the scale or on the size tag in your clothes!

I had my hair trimmed, colored (really, you don't really think my hair is this color...), and highlighted yesterday at Ulta salon in Utica yesterday and Cassie, who spends hours making me look as good as I do asked me that question.

What is the number of products you touch to get your hair, make-up, and morning hygiene finished up in the morning? I am counting them up tomorrow morning.

But before I get to that, it is Sunday...happy day. Definitely doing the Chocolate Panna Cotta with Salted Caramel Sauce and for dinner, Meatloaf with Mediterranean flavored: sundries tomatoes, capers, lemon zest, goat cheese, and Carmelites onions and Roasted Brussel Sprouts with browned butter and lemon zest, and Garlic Mashed Potatoes. I'll take pics and post to FBas the day goes on.

And the best news, I lost a half pound of the pound and a half I gained last week!

Getting ready for tomorrow

I have been in the search for a chocolate panna cotta that I knew would be wonderful without wasting the ingredient money experimenting...mission accomplished. Check out tomorrow's dessert...http://www.godiva.com/recipes

Dinner? Have not figured that part out yet. The weather in upstate New York is supposed to be cooler, relatively speaking so maybe meatloaf. One of my all time favorites and I still have a little piece of the Italian bread from the North End.

I will have to check out the Farmer's Market for veggie side dishes...I love the cooler weather! I will not however let it derail the WWPP journey I am on...forever my new life.

Sleep

I am beginning to understand why weight-loss experts hammer this one home. When you don't get enough of it your brain spends the entire day trying to convince your stomach that clearly it must need energy...undoubtedly, your brain says, in the form of carbs.

Two nights in a row now, awake every two hours between one dog not coming home until after midnight- he is an unfixed beagle and the little girl beagle down the street is behaving, shall we say rather promiscuously. The other pup wants to pee every hour and drink every two; of course, if she drinks from the minute I arrive home from work until bedtime she is much more likely to sleep through the night.

Last night we had to go pick up my car from the shop after work, I had dinner to cook. Oh, that was yummy, cabbage straight from the garden sautéed in a little (very little, like a tablespoon for half a head) olive oil, mustard seeds, fresh ginger, garlic, garamsala, 1/4 cup white wine and 1/2 cup of chicken stock added after the cabbage started to break down. Then I laid some barramundi fillets on top, turned it down and simmered for about 10 minutes. I served it with brown rice pearls and it was yummy. Then I sat with Chunky Pup awaiting the return of Small Pup. And waiting. Army went to bed. Then I waited some more. And waited. And waited. And waited. Until midnight when the very bad Small Pup finally came home.

And then, like small children the every two hour stuff started. Tonight, Army deals with it. I am sleeping!

Frustrated

Okay, I know falling off the wagon last week was akin to a mortal sin, but seriously living on fruit, veg, dairy-based protein and avocado and walking I expected a couple of ounces at least to go away. But no, this will linger lending more credibility to my stance that even if I eat like a "normal" person my body does abnormal things.

Sometimes I do think weight loss surgery is the easy way out and wonder why I did not do it when I was ridiculously heavier and had been approved for it. Then I remember, I love food and wine. Oh, and I can achieve goals, and I am disciplined, and I never take the easy way out. .

There, I needed that self-pep talk. Onward and upward, or downward as the case may be to the goal. Retrench, rethink, and redo!

Is it Friday?

I know, not even close. It's not even hump day yet, which, considering the scale NEVER moves on Wednesday isn't even a good day. I just feel drained and tired and I want the week to be over.

It is hard to get back on the wagon. I thought I was going to starve to death yesterday, and all I did was eat. I am sure I was craving the bad-for-you crap food that I was eating after I crashed the wagon last week. Today will be easier and tomorrow more so. It is not worth falling off the wagon; I think I will stay on it here to fore.

I think I will go thrift / consignment store hopping at lunch today. I don't always find stuff, but it does keep the cost of clothing down while I am still in rapidly shrinking woman mode (thank you Bob O'Rourke). And I even have another goal other than my doctor's appointment next month- my Blake is coming to visit the end of that week. I can't wait to see him; it's been over a year. Check out below for a pic of my very handsome son!

David Kirchoff, President and CEO of Weight Watchers is right. Never stop tracking, never stop blocking; bad things happen once you reduce accountability. I thought I gained back 1/2lb., again math is not my strong suit. I gained back 1 1/2lbs. Last week was not a good week

I was having problems with my eyes, worked a lot, and got into the potato chips. Another Kirchoff tru-ism: don't have temptations in easy to get to places. Army has to keep that stuff in the man cave. Finally...a practical reason for the man cave.

Pics of last night's dinner. I did Maine mahogany clams with chorizo, garlic, crushed red and lemon zest in white wine with crusty bread and garlic caesar salad. For dessert (no pics), gluten free chocolate cookies from Stagecoach coffee, www.stagecoachcoffeeroasters.com, that Sarbear gave me before she left Friday. I put them in the freezer for yesterday. Yummy.



On a sad note, Sarbear's last day was Friday, she is off on another great adventure; it was also Hannah's last day, she is off to grad school...in England! I will miss them both

I am a bad blogger...

I am late again in posting, but I could not open my eyes enough this morning to see what I was doing.

Woke up several times during the night with my eyeballs glued shut-must have ended up with make up in them when I washed my face. So I look lovely today. The swelling is finally down enough so I can see.

Of course this was after sitting on the floor with Chunky Pup who had some sort of seizure last evening. I think we are all convinced that this weight loss project is as essential for her as it is for me.

Typical Wednesday morning on the scale. Stuck again. Army's cooking dinner tonight so I will be in salad land although I hope he does pick up pork chops; I will have those and my salad. I have fruit to eat all day so I am good there.

I am so on track for all this year's goals. Truth be told I have accomplished all but one and it is only August. The five year plan is on track; Sarbear looked at me like I was nuts when I mentioned the five year plan. Apparently not everybody has one. But then how do set goals, track progress, and achieve what you desire. I may have to talk more about this in future blog posts.

So here is the hobby...

SarBear thought they were amazing and my boss said that posting them would make me more interesting to my readers.  I don't know you decide.

When I was working on an undergrad degree, I explored the art studio, not just art history, side of life.  I fell into Artist Books, which reflecting on it all is not that surprising because I was already making Art Quilts.  I had a great time and hands down the best professor.  Nancy Callahan is something extraordinary and if you ever have the chance whether at SUCO or elsewhere to take a class from her, do so.  It will change your life.

Many of these were born (like all interesting art) out of the experiences of life.  This first one was in honor of my mother who passed in the early part of this century.  She was a devout Catholic and a women of great strength; how else could she have lived after my sister died?  Her faith, more so than her religion, defined her and gave her purpose.  She had converted to Catholicism from Episcopalian long before I was born and as a convert learned more about the religion and culture than any of us raised in it.

I wanted this to appear as a shrine that had been found in a deep, dark, church basement somewhere.  A self-contained unit that was full of the artifacts of faith.  I think I achieved that.  The one book is a bible (not hers, that I will have forever), the pages glued and niches carved out to hold her rosaries, and the rosaries she gave me.  The opening is covered with tulle because the one strand is made with rose petals and I wanted the scent to be apparent.  The a bible that can only be opened to the book of Ruth, one of her favorites.

So here goes, and tomorrow we will return to food and life and weight and eating...

Not sure which was better

The bread was worth the week long wait. Even having to freeze it, defrost it, and heat it up it was better than any bread I can find locally. Of course I could always take a road trip to Bread Alone; never been? Worth the road trip http://www.breadalone.com or mail order. I like the road trip; but that's a conversation for another Sundays Off plan.

Dinner was phenomenal; the bread, the sauce, the meats, yum it all came together beautifully. Albeit a little later than expected so dessert was even later, but oh, so worth it. Check out the pics. Alas it is now but a memory because it is Monday and I have a 11.3 lbs until goal!

Sunday Sauce

Technically will begin today.

Of to the Farmer's Market this morning to get all the "stuff" I live on all week. I hope Middle field Orchard has more peaches; their's are the best I have had so far.

Then off to the grocery store for stuff for Sunday Sauce; ground pork and veal for meatballs, beef to cook down in the sauce; hot sausage; maybe some eye round to pound thin to stuff, roll, and tie. I have to start the cooking tonight because I am working at least part of tomorrow. I think dinner will be late and romantic; but appetizers early. All this because I have bread from the North End of Boston in my freezer!

I have to pick up the stuff for homemade ricotta too. I am doing a version of David Rocco's Cassata Rustica. I love his show on the cooking channel, I think it's on at 3:30 on Sundays, but it has been a while since I have had a chance to sit down and watch it. Check out the guide at: http://www.cookingchanneltv.com. I decided I would like to use a chocolate sponge and eighty-six the pie (gross!)crust.

I picked up some wine, Chianti and Valpolicella...yummy.

Tomorrow is weigh in too. I am guardedly optimistic; I know this sounds silly, but I feel like I can feel my hip bones better.

Tomorrow there will be pictures, I might start posting some on FB today as I start the cheese and cake.

Enjoy today.

Not as hard as I thought

I always (literally) that it was impossible to make good food choices when I was not in control of the menu. What I have learned is that I have to be in control of myself. Case in point: last evening, another work event with food.

I had the good fortune to represent the museums at an event half by one of our funders; it was a picnic and an evening show. I have not seen Music Man in years and was looking forward to that...the picnic of course terrified me. I could have easily made poor choices and turned my meal into a catastrophe, instead I paid attention, made good choices had two glasses of wine and still had points leftover!

On the buffet: fresh baby spinach with thinly sliced red peppers, thinly sliced London broil, creamy dressing, crumpled bacon, a vinaigrette based red-skinned potato salad, chopped fruit, and chocolate chip cookie bars. Could have been a disaster right?

I ate spinach leaves and red pepper strips, a few slices of London broil ( I am getting better at eyeing a serving, but always take a little less and guess high on the points), and a mountain of fruit. Of course, Army can eat anything and never gain an ounce had a little of everything. Apparently the cookie was pretty good!

Enjoy your day; remember good food choices can be made anywhere.

Dear Brain:

We are not living in a time of famine; I am no longer of child-bearing years. I am not menopausal. I am giving this body you live in less unhealthy food, more fruits, veggies, lean protein, and exercising more for its own good.

I do not wish to arise at 5:30 am for the sheer pleasure of it, but I do so in service to this body that has been abused over many years and to make it a nicer home for you to live in.

I have not given up gluten for the benefit of my taste buds, that's for damn sure. I have done so in the hope that the less toxins stored within will make this home of yours more appealing to you.

I have certainly not given up drinking wine Mon-Sat out of some urge to drive myself to the brink of insanity, but so that you will feel safer and more content in clear surroundings.

And all I ask in return is that you talk to your body contact and ask it to release some of these last 10+lbs it is holding onto for dear life!

I am tired of being STUCK!

Thank you. I look forward to your prompt response.

Corrine